It took a passport, a few thousand miles, and a language barrier to feel safe enough to explore in this deep and scary place. A trip to Cancun provided me the safety of solitude and an environment for self-discovery so rich that I was able to hurdle twenty-five years of an ultra-conservative upbringing to understand my sexuality as homosexual and be ok with the truth that made me. Therapists often use medication to help delve into hard to reach places such as this one, but travel provided me the same supplement. I was already outside of the confinements of my comfort zones and therefore took advantage of the circumstance. Just as I saw the world in a whole different light, so did I see myself from a different vantage.
Lounging against a palm pressing my feet through the sand with only the Caribbean bearing witness, I felt clarity of thought that I had not known, accompanied by peace with newfound truth. It was an “Ah-ha” moment. Pieces of my life that could not connect fell in place as if I had placed the last card of solitaire in play. I replayed all of the relationships and friendships I’d had over in my mind and understood my loneliness and dissatisfaction with them.
Ironically, the solution from that loneliness was isolation in a foreign country. Cancun provided a maternal safety surrounding me with cleansing water and the soothing sounds that accompany it as the tide ebbed and flowed. Being separated from the idiosyncrasies of normality provided the energy and freedom to assign my mind new tasks. For example, instead of worrying when I would have time to cook dinner, get to the grocery store, post office, vacuum, pay the bills, and get out of debt; I reassigned those brain seconds to work on issues in my life that were unreachable when added to daily stressors. Granted, this is not the only way for self growth, however, I would say that it is arguably the most fun, and for me it’s been proven to be the most effective!
Shannon Enete
Founder of Passportal LLC
Writer / Photographer
Wow, beautifully written. There´s a quote that goes something like, if you want to find yourself go to a place where you don´t have an identity. It´s liberating to be somewhere where there are no expectations of you. I´m happy that you have had that experience. We love you "Shannon the Paramedic"!
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